by Natalie Books
And good intentions.…Today is one of those days when things that others do for me are getting to me. I can bear it for awhile but eventually I get frustrated and irritated. I know I should be grateful for the help and without it I would be much worse off, yet I would much rather do it myself. Too much toothpaste in my mouth, not thourough brushing, lotion in my eyes, and the list goes on… That was all in five minutes! …not to mention no privacy or personal space. It doesn’t just affect me, my family suffers from the same thing. A constant stream of people in our house is wearing to say the least, especially for introverts. And finding your clothes in someone else’s drawer or not finding something at all due to other people not knowing your systems, procedures and placement…doing things in a random or haphazard way … is a constant frustration.
Not having a way to communicate with my caregiver makes things a ton worse. Yes, I have an iPad with eye tracking technology but I cannot fluently communicate in real time when I have it in front of me let alone when I am getting off the toilet or in the car or many other scenarios.
Unless you have lived this, it may seem small or trivial but the relentlessness is very wearing. I know have it easy compared to some people locked in their bodies with nothing to do, at the mercy of others, not cared for by loving people and I am grateful, but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard. I would like to take a hike and get away from it all at least for a little while!
Having grown up in the Pacific Northwest, Natalie has a fierce independence and wild adventurous heart. Nat has always been a hands-on person with a love for life, beauty and celebration. She has a degree in horticulture and training in music, carpentry, interior design, floral design and life coaching. Natalie spent time as an intern at a church and went on several ministry trips to places like the Philippines, Japan and India. She was involved heavily in music over the years with several orchestras, choirs and worship groups. She has also dabbled in many things including beekeeping, welding, machinery operation, large quantity cooking and gardening. She loves learning and trying new things. She thrives by being in the outdoors and enjoys making music with friends, preparing and eating good food, contemplation and communing with God through prayer, worship, dance, and journaling, or as she calls it, musing. Right now she is writing music and poetry and is in the early stages of writing a book. She hopes to be healed so she can go on to do many more things…travel, beekeeping, starting a farm and training others in practical ways to become their best selves with life skills and inner freedom.
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