Natalen

by Natalie Ledord

Dumbfounded

When I was a child, I had great faith.
I trusted, I rested, and I felt safe.
But as time wore on, the promise wore thin.
I felt abandoned, left alone and chagrined.5

My heart wandered.
Was he really there for me?
Where were the answers
I wanted to see?

Yet I waited, I prayed
To see what would be.
“You are good, you are God
You will be there for me”

And as I matured,
I chose to stay near
And rest in his goodness
Though the way seemed unclear.

What once was a glimmer
Would soon be realized
But what would it take
For such a sunrise?

Without doubt he had power,
Without doubt he had love.
He was good, he was God
On his throne up above.

Why then did he not rise
From the seat of his throne?
Bring his kingdom here?
His justice, a son?

By then, I was old
And the promises dim.
What good did it do
Just waiting for him,

To roll up his sleeve,
Come down from his place,
Strike down his foes
Or just show his face?

I wanted a baby
To nurture and teach.
Now, why was God’s goodness
So far out of reach?

I wanted to have
A miracle of course,
But what did it matter
After reaching this point?

I might seem ungrateful
But please, I am old.
I don’t want a child anymore,
Truth be told

My wife, she is barren
Doesn’t have what it takes
To even get pregnant
Man, what a waste!

But then it happened,
An angel appeared.
He brought me good tidings.
Said do not fear.

The child you long for
Soon will be here.
A man like no other
To usher God in

A life of destiny,
A calling from God
To make ready a people
Prepared for the Lord.

My heart yearned within
Could I dare hope
His power, his passion
Had now come close?

The angel just stood there
Waiting for me
And what did I say,
but “How can this be”?

Then all of a sudden, I had no voice,
No longer able to sing or to croak.
Indeed, the promise would come,
But not by my choice.

So flustered I floundered, I finished my job.
Dumbfounded I went back out to the crowd
And gestured to them since I had no voice.
And when I was done, I left for home.

Anxious to see what the angel foretold
I waited and waited again
And yes, my wife, she grew round with a baby inside.
Together we watched our dream come to life.

And then I realized it’s not about me.
But rather God’s timing for he had a plan.
My timing, my vision,
, just got in the way.

So I waited and prayed
And listened and such.
God had come down
with His glory and love.

His timing and method;
He had a plan.
My prayers had been answered,
though not like I planned.

And as I thought again,
I realized his passion and heart
Had always been there
It was there from the start.

But not just for me
but the rest of the world;
It took patience to see
the fullness of time for things to unfold.

For God’s kingdom was coming,
and we were a part
The story unfolding
As prophets foretold.

Promises, promises, things in my heart
would come to pass when he knew was best.
Now, how could I be graced with this child, a guest,
a promised world changer, a gift?

So when he was delivered
my heart it did flip,
but I was still silent and wondered why
God had chosen me to be part of this.

I who had faltered,
had fathered a son.
Now how could I train him
or give him a name?

Our relatives came
filled with wonder and joy.
They asked what will you name
this cute little boy?

elisabeth said “John”. “
What?” they said,
“why not name him
after his father instead?”

Now Zechariah please
write down your choice.”
And I wrote what the angel had told me,
“his name will be John”.

And then my voice returned
I could once again talk!
And talk I sure did
giving glory to God.

Now you may wonder,
what did I say,
after almost a year
and on such a great day.

I started by giving praises to God
For coming to redeem his people in love
And then, for sending a son to me.
I was as happy as could be.

and then I sang praises
and prophesied.
What a relief I had my voice.
I would use it for God of course.